Cal and carrot

    Denise had two things on her      

     mind: carrots and Carl.

Carl loved carrots. Carl hadn’t talked to Denise in two weeks, three days, and 14 hours, and the only thing on Denise’s mind was to bake a carrot cake that would make Carl come back to her. 

Where did their problems begin? Well, when they first dated, Carl seemed like the catch of the season, and she was almost beyond her season at 42 and unloved. Denise was a successful engineer with a degree from MIT and a job that paid her well enough to own a sensational top-floor condo on Boston’s Seaport. curvy woman,

But money did not attract a good man. Looks and curves and flirtations seemed to do the trick, though. Denise found a great spa for facials, an expert cosmetic surgeon to add some curves and take away others, and joined a gym that she frequented religiously at 6 every morning.

And that’s where she met Carl, her trainer.

All went well for the first few months. Carl was disenthralled with his “model-type” clients and encouraged Denise to “be herself” and exercise for the fun of it, not to change herself. He took her for hikes on Mt. Monadnock and kayaking on the Charles River. His lovemaking was inventive and playful. Carl was the first man who seemed to genuinely like Denise.

But then he introduced Denise to his sister, Pauline, who was a fortune teller and psychic. Pauline immediately suggested to Denise that she avoid seafood, watch out for the number 23, and consider bringing a pet into her life – particularly a black cat. 

Denise laughed in Pauline’s face, which didn’t seem to surprise Pauline, but angered Carl.

The next day, Denise’s boss took her out to lunch at Ocean Prime. Denise knew Todd Haring was about to give her a promotion, so she indulged with her favorite treat – oysters – until her breathing shortened and Mr. Harding shouted “Call 911” as a rash exploded on every inch of her skin. The paramedics saved her on the floor of her now least favorite restaurant, and Denise wondered if Pauline had cast a spell on her.

But Denise didn’t believe in spells or psychics or any superstition, until a week later, on the 23rd, Carl called her and suggested that they “take a break.”

Halloween cat

Credit:crisserbugE+Getty Images

Denise was no dummy. She had a frickin’ Ph.D. from MIT. She immediately visited the shelter at Chandler Street and brought home a soft fluffy not-particularly-friendly black cat. Two could play this game, she decided.

Then she shredded two cups of carrots and Googled “magic cake,” swirling the carrots into the butter, sugar, and flour.

For good measure, she called Pauline and invited her for dinner and dessert: “And please, bring Carl with you. I bought a new deck of Tarot cards that look amazing.”

Two months later, Carl and Denise were engaged to be married